Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mexican Citizenship Handbook

> 1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your
> carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
> 2.. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your
> yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my
> return a little easier.
> 3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste .. And taste means there
> are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me
> wonder what type of gaming system they have.
> 4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I
> might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to
> remove it.
> 5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and
> foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead
> giveaway.
> 6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm
> company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it
> too easy.
> 7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows
> on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry.
> It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
> 8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock
> your door-understandable . But understand this: I don't take a day off
> because of bad weather.
> 9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or
> offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
> 10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check
> dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
> 11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
> 12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you
> keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
> 13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system.
> If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can
> buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of
> a real television.
> 1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and
> carry a rake.. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
> 2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
> 3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your
> neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear
> it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was
> doing. It's human nature.
> 4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy
> alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
> 5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home,
> and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like.. I'll drive or walk
> through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to
> pick my targets.
> 6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than
> you think to look up your address.
> 7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to
> let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
> 8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the
> jackpot and walk right in.


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