Ousley Goes Shopping

HAHAHA Dennis was in the market today. Some Chinese woman in the produce depart kept hitting her cart into Ousley's foot. After about the fifth hit Dennis went over to her cart and methodically laid it down on its side on the floor between the gala and the granny smith apples. He then said to her "Is this what you were trying to do?" Let us stop the story right here for a moment. Even if it was LIKELY that what she was trying to do by bumping Ousley's was was to make a request in code for someone to lay her own cart down on its side on the floor in the store....even if that is what she had actually wanted - wouldn't you at least ask BEFORE you turned her cart over on its side? Just to make sure you were right in your assumption? Of course you would. Dennis, however, turned it over before asking. And let's face it, the chances are pretty much zero that that WAS what she wanted. If for no other reason than a metal shopping cart on its side is damn near impossible to get back upright again. Plus all the groceries in it topple to one edge and then out onto the floor. And people all around the vicinity more or less freak. They get real tense. They know something really fucked up has just occured even though a shopping cart on its side is not really anything to fear. Especially if it was laid down all calmly and carefully. I mean it wasn't as though he fucking
went apefire over it. No: it was all real calm. He put one foot in front of one wheel and pulled it toward him while tilting it past the point where it would have returned upright and then held it while gravity slowly lowered it the rest of the way down. And then finally it was just laying there sideways on the floor in the produce department and Dennis asked the woman who had been repeatedly and cluelessly hitting his foot over and over with her own cart while trying to figure out what an orange was, he inquired, looking at her, with her cart on its side at their feet, "Is this what you were trying to do?" It turns out it was not. In fact she was so fucking scared by this that she just shuffled quickly out of the store without saying a word or uttering a sound and to probably never return. I mean, would you? They should make Dennis a foreign diplomat. Nobody would fuck with America ever again. They'd be too freaked out.