Siths And Jedi compared

Above are two pictures, one is of a Jedi, and one is of a Sith. The Jedi is the top one. The Sith is the other one. Let's start with appearances. Do you see anything even remotely cool about the Jedi? No. Does he - or it - look like anything anyone would want to aspire to? No. He looks like a small chirping denizen of a small stagnant pond system. In fact, this particular Jedi lived out the golden twilight years of his life in a murky swamp inhabited by snakes, bugs, lizards and algae. He coughed up blood with every other breath, and he could not put the words of even the simplest sentence into the proper order. And he's in rags. The sleeves of his garment look like something a bum would balk at putting his arms into. And it's not just rags he's in, it's fucking burlap, for Christ's sakes. And he's not JUST a Jedi, he's the CHIEF KINGPIN KABRONE GRAHNDAY POOTOE of the Jedis. He can hurl a ten ton truck through the air just by wishing, but he can't pick out a costume that doesn't look like a fucking onion bag. Why? Because he's a Jedi, that's why. Jedi have the dress codes and fashion sense of monastery monks in a ninth century asteroid dungeon who drink by sucking water from the moldy walls and who eat by chasing cockroaches around the dank floors on their hands and knees and drooling with the greed of starvation. Why? Because they are lazy, oblivious sloths. Magic Men or no, they just don't give a shit how they look. Now let's take a look at the Sith. That would be the individual below the Jedi Salamander Gay Elf critter. Tell me, does the Sith look like something you would scoop-up from the creek and put into a jar and name Bimpy? No. Does he look like something you would bait a hook with to catch trout? No. Does he look like something that has given no thought to his appearance or that who looks like he eats with his feet? No. On the contrary, he looks like something who would kill you just because he can feel the stupidity seeping off you, like steam off a gay bath house towel. Not only would he kill you, he would do it with wrath, premeditation, deliberation, and a kind of inner-fulfilling enthusiasm the first instant he laid eyes on you, just because your existence is annoying to him. As would I, probably for the same reason. The Sith is also a lot better dressed. And part of him is even machine, and with current, top-end, up to date, technology, which in their part of the universe, is pretty advanced. The Jedi on the other hand, they don't augment their flesh with engines and wires and turbo-blades. They just sluggardly go wherever the slow road of evolution takes them. And at a slow, evolutionary, naturally-selecting pace. No supermetal face plates for them. Nope. Nature's ready-made ugliness is enough for those dolts. Lose a body part? Oh well, it's just a body part. But the Jedi have no problem with that, being chopped up and then left unrepaired, being basically slothful and lazy and unambitious clods. That fucking Yoda, the creepy looking thing in the top picture, walked with a limp most of his life. You think he would go into the repair shop and have his fucking leg fixed? No. He'd rather limp around with a fucking cane. You think he would even select a halfway stylish cane???Fuck no, just snap off a branch from the first dead tree he comes across inthe dump. That'll be fine for him. Why? Because he just don't give a fuck. According to the statistics, two Sith can hunt down and destroy one thousand Jedi, and then leave any remaining Jedi left alive in total disarray, confusion, fear, and despair. And yet the Sith are considered the "bad" guys. Well their badness certainly does not seem to extend to their fighting ability. Or to their knack and aptitude for conquest. Nope. ain't nuthin' too "bad" in those categories of ability. Jedi, however, one of which is at the top of this article, and smiling like he just got caught playing with himself, or looking like he's thinking about asking someone of the same sex if they would like to swim naked together for a while in the pool, these Jedi, they pride themselves on "maintaining order," by using the THREAT of violence, not actual violence, to get their way. The Sith are a lot more honest and efficient. They show up: snuff you; and then leave. "Order" in Jedi language is defined as "what Jedis want." and what Jedis seem to want is "representational government of a vaguely democratic nature that obeys the Jedi." Representatives vote, in other words. What do they vote on? Whatever the Jedis decide is best, or in other cases, whatever the Siths DON'T want. Since the Jedi will kneejerk-vote against Siths' desires without quarter, debate, consideration, or discussion, the Siths have to diguise their existence and work like motherfuckers to get the things THEY want, since the Jedi, who control the universe, will vote the Siths' needs and opinions and wishes, they'll vote them right out the window and into oblivion immediately, without debate or discussion and without hesitation and without mercy. It's no wonder the Siths are always pissed. Other than fuckiing-up Siths' plans, what else are the Jedi working towards? Nothing. They have no ambition, they have no purpose, they have no desires, they have no hopes and they have no dreams, other than to sit around and know that they are feared, and just basically pontificate and have councils among themselves, and try to learn how to achieve greater magical abilities, and how to fuck with the Siths' relentless determination to actually DO something. The Siths on the other hand are already pretty knowledgeable on how to achieve greater magical abilities, and they have no hesitation about running down that path as fast as they can get down it to get to the Pot Of New Tricks just as soon as possible. The Jedi too know how to get more magic powers, but they are very reluctant to go down the path that leads to them because it causes "suffering." It also causes "ambition" and "effort," and "work," and "goals," and a few other things the Jedis are devoid of and apparently fear. You will never see a Jedi contorting his face in effort and determination about anything. They are always in a quandry or in a stupor. Everything puzzles them. They are always in "session" with other Jedis to try and figure things out. They engage each other in dialogue and speculation without end. None of this shit ever occurs with the Siths. If there's any discussion that needs to take place, it's one Sith telling the other Sith what to do. The other Sith, if he says anything at all, it's to agree that the plan is sound. This is not ass-kissing. The plan probably IS sound, if for no other reason than it came from a Sith, and the other Sith probably had the same idea himself. Siths never argue with each other. While Jedi are in a constant confusion, one with the other, each one thinking he knows best, always debating, always tossing suggestions into the pot, always calling each other on flaws. The Sith don't do any of this. They sit in their caves, quietly, next to each other, in their stone-and-metal thrones, in the dim blue light, and keep a telepathic eye on the Jedi to make sure the Jedi are always where the Sith are not. If the Jedis would just wise-up and let the Siths sit-in on their discussions a lot more would get done. Because all discussion would cease. Work would begin. If the universe was a JOB instead of a relaxation arena, all the Jedi would be fired. They never do anything. The Siths do everything. You never see a Sith sitting on the vernada, a drink in his hand, talking about the game or who they like in the World Series. No, The Sith is off somewhere talking to an allied underling about how to defeat as well-defended army of intelligent dinosaurs on some miserable planet a billion miles away. The Jedi meanwhile are sitting in a circle looking up each other's robes trying to see if they can spot some hot, same-sex gonads.