Sunday, September 2, 2012

Remedial Civics For Right Wingers

   If you tell a right winger that the Constitution is the cause, not the solution, to all his political problems, you better have your war face on because he is going to get very very angry at you. He is not going to say "Why is that?" or "Why do you say that?" he is going to start spraying spit all over the place from his instantaneous escalation into what Cesar Milan the dog trainer calls "the red zone." The red zone in dogs is the emotional state they fire-up to instantaneously when they decide they are in a life-or-death situation or a member of his pack is in a life-or-death situation. When a dog gets into this mode, you disengage unless you want mortal combat to ensue. The difference between a dog and a right winger in their respective red zones is when you disengage from a dog in the red zone, he shoots back down immediately to a lower state of emotion. AND he doesn't harbor resentment. It's over. He gets on with the next instant of his instant-to-instant life. With right wingers?...this ain't the case. When they go into the red zone, and you disengage, they usually start chasing after you. Cause they're not done with you. They are holding a grudge. They want to make sure you never come back a second time to tell them that the Constitution is the cause, not the solution, to all their problems.
  Now, you tell a Left Winger that the Constitution is the cause, not the solution, to all his problems, he'll gleefully agree with you. Left Wingers can't get rid of the Constitution fast enough. The Constitution is what is holding things back from an Emperor taking over. Left Wingers want emperors, or kings, or  dictators. Why? Because left wingers are insane and have no sense of self respect because that is an individualistic trait and left wingers have no individualistic traits or identities, they are like the Borg without the engineering skills.
   Were you able to actually instruct a right winger - which is absolutely impossible -  you would be able to tell him what the Constitution really is: a binding contract with him that he has not signed. There is not a constitutional lawyer - you know, the absolute highest, most revered, most bowed-down to lawyers of all time? Those guys? - there is not a Constitutional lawyer in America or in Arabia who would disagree with this analysis; that the Constitution is a contract with you that you have not signed They would also say it is not relevant. And to them it isn't. They're lawyers. The law is their caribou shit. They roll around in it like wolves disguising their scent so that you will think they are something they are not.
   The Constitution is a binding contract you not only have not signed, you probably have not read it either. Take a crack at it. If you have read it and you have any reading comprehension skills you know why you have not signed it: because it makes you a slave and claims ownership of your life and your property. This is the reason why nobody has signed it. It is also the reason it has never been offered to you for your signature. Because you would read it - or hire a lawyer to read it - and he would advise you not to sign it unless you wanted to be taken to a rubber room immediately afterwards for being too stupid to be let loose.
   Now that I have proven to you that you are stupid, you might be asking yourself why you would have earlier defended the Constitution so vehemently against my earlier suggestion that it is the cause, not the solution, to all your problems. And the reason is, not only are you stupid, you have invested - if you are a born citizen, unlike the President -  a job which the Constitution has created out of thin air for no reason - because not only are you stupid, you have invested a lifetime's worth of emotional and argumentative and irrational energy, or let's call them Time Coins, which are finite in number, into believing in and acting on the assumption that the Constitution is what is responsible for your having...whatever it is you think you have. Perhaps one of the things you have is long lines at the airport trying to get through security even though you are a paying customer and not a suspect. It's just in the eyes of the airline that you are not a suspect. In the eyes of the Constitutionally appointed government TSA agent you are a suspect. Incidentally, the government did not create the airline. The airline created itself. The government just took control of it. Via the Constitution. Because the Constitution created the government. Not the airline. I hope you feel safer knowing the airline which created itself and which was confiscated by the constitution is now the hands of civil service test-takers who are stealing your luggage and licensing your pilot.
   Perhaps what you have is a car, which the Consitution did not create but only created instead the means by which the car can be taken from you, which you think you have, or own, even though it can be confiscated - along with yourself - if it is not "registered," or "taxed" as I like to call it. You should be glad it is only registered every year and not every day. Or every twenty minutes. Which it could very easily be changed to, overnight, without your permission. So in other words you probably thank the Constitution for all the wonderful things you think you own. You believe that the Constitution is the the solution to all your problems which is why you think you own them. Even though you don't. They are yours because the Constitution allows you to borrow them for a price. Not because the Constitution allows you to own them.
   The reason you think the Constitution is why you have all the things you think you have is because you are 1: gullible, and 2: supersititious. Everyone has been telling you the Constitution is what is making possible all the terrific things you think you own and you have accepted this as the truth. Even though this is not the truth. So you are gullible. And you are superstitious because you think the Constitution is magical and has mystical, voodoo-like qualities, even though it is merely a very presumptuous and pompous piece of legalese created by British-trained lawyers who just got out from underneath a King and which creates for itself a government out of paper and ink and some haughty ideas very likely gleaned from Madame Blavatsky, of all people, or from one of her predecessors, or from some philosopher who was convinced that an unsigned contract stating terms no one now alive has agreed to...has magical and mystical and supernatural powers to bring "liberty to all" by rigidly defining the limits of liberty and "justice to all" by declaring ownership of everyone's stuff, including their physical bodies subject to being drafted, conscripted, fined, taxed, imprisoned and executed.
   I hope this has been helpful to you in your understanding of why the Constitution is the cause and not the solution of all your problems. There is no homework because I am sure you have not been paying attention. You have probably been spitting saliva. Every right winger who gets this lesson does.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home