Why I Am A Christian

I think if you are a Christian you should tell why. I do NOT think you should try and make other people Christians. Or at least I do not think EYE should. I don't give a fuck what you do, you want to fucking convert the stupid go right ahead and good luck with that, asshole. Where was I before you fucked me all up with your interruptions. Oh, yeah: I'm a Christian because I am one of those people who needs a religion. First of all. Is that good? - is that bad?....who gives a fuck. If you need a religion why not get one that requires you to do NOTHING. Christianity requires you to do nothing. Christianity says Jesus did it all you just suck up the juice. Picking up other peoples' leavings is very easy for me, I'm a born trash picker. Christianity is God's trash. To me the mystery of Christianity is why anyone would NOT want to be a Christian. You have this guy who's a Jew who goes to the other Jews to tell them he is going to turn them into the super race and create a new social order based on capitalism and free enterprise and where there are no laws and there is no government and that as a bonus not only are there no laws but even if they do things wrong they are not going to be held responsible by the deity because Jesus has proclaimed it and in fact is going to take all the punishment actually due Mankind and take the hit himself. Now.......who the fuck would say no to that. Apparently a LOT of people. What word would you use to CALL such people? Well, I would use the word stupid.

Now there are a lot of people who do not need a religion. You're in luck!... Jesus did not come to save the Just! So you're cool, Nonreligioners. YOU GO, GIRLS!!

Now someone might say If Jesus came to the Jews and the Jews killed his ass....why ain't that the end of it. For the same reason Pontius Pilate LIKED Jesus even though the Jews didn't. Because Jesus was interesting. The Jews brought this everyday Jew blasphemer to Pilate in the middle of the fucking night, interrupting his blowjob with the towns male and female teenagers, his wife is nagging at him to stay clear of the fucker - Pilate talks to Jesus for five minutes and he takes a liking to the guy. And he takes an even stronger DISliking to the Jews who brought him there. Not that he liked the Jews anyway, Italians are Italians, we don't like them now and we didn't like them then. And it's the same with other non Jews; Jesus is likeable, he makes no demands, he has offered to fix things, he is filled with sound advice, he has a window to the future that he invites you to try and look through, to throw your preconceived notions about how things should be aside and take a look at how things eventually WILL be, you can make it happen now or you decendants a million years from now can make it happen, sooner or later it's gonna happen, want to take a look? Who would say no to that. Who would say no to taking a look. I took a look. I got it. Fuck you. AND your mom.