Most Dangerous Life Form On Earth

It's hummingbirds. They are absolutely invincible because they are so fast and so insanely small and they FLY and i dont mean just fly, they can fly backwards and sideways in addition to forwards, and they can just hover in mid air like a flying fucking saucer and if you are stupid enough to attract them to your house with a FEEDER eventually they WILL poke their footlong mosquito-small swords into your eye and suck out the fluids and collapse your eyeball into a white deflated mini-tarp, and zip away before you even know what the fuck happened. When you see a blind man?..... they always say it was an accident or a birth defect or GLASS or something that fucked them up but 99 times out of a hundred it was caused by a hummingbird. I dont think the blind people even know what made them blind or maybe they just repress it because jesus christ a hummingbird?.... but if you just grill them long enough: one time in school there was this blind kid who i didnt like anyway but one day i asked him why he was blind and he said his mother had the measles. That just PISSED ME OFF for some reason and he had
his little tie on and i wrapped it once around his neck and said "LIAR!! WHAT WAS IT!! WHAT REALLY BLINDED YOU!! He gurgled "H-h-humm-ing....bird....." "Fuckin'A RIGHT it was a hummingbird you fat fuck" I said. I let go of his dorky little tie and pushed him with my foot off the 6th bleacher seat that we were sitting on at the time. Naturally he could not brace for his impact because being blind he had no clue when it would occur. And so, being blind, he was injured a hundred times worse than he would have been if he wasn't blind. But then if I he wasn't blind I wouldn't have kicked him off the bleachers. So he was just shit outa luck all over the place. And all because of hummingbirds.