Michelle Unveils New Teen Fashions For Her Daughters And For America

Michelle Obama appeared on Aperah today and revealed her plans for her two daughters' "revolutionary teen" makeover line of schoolgirl fashions: African neck-elogator rings. "The American teen will no longer look like a Miley Cyrus street whore" Michelle told the Aperah audience between audience gasps and cheers of delight. "The American girl of tomorrow will look like a proud lady of dignity. A woman who can hold her head high and carry a basket load of laundry to the stream with pride and grandness." Aperah asked Michelle if the neck-elogators would interfere with the neck strength needed to carry large vessels of water on the head. Michelle laughed and said that was purely a Middle Eastern custom and not an African one. "Living by a running stream is never a problem for the wise African nomad. We Negroes always had enough sense to live in jungles and mountains and grasslands, not goddamn fucking deserts like our sandnigger cousins. They are so silly!!" Aperah and the audience all frolicked and giggled endlessly at this wondrously "Michelle" quip. She is truly a delight........ Associated Press.