True Beauty

True Beauty is the name of the weirdest shows in television history. My Mother The Car is The Caltech Channel compared to this. They rustled up ten self-absorbed shitheads from I guess a dumpster and told them that one of them would be chosen Bitchenest Person In The Universe, or something. Naturally all ten of them believed this. Not only did they believe they would all be chosen they all believed that the title was completely justified. The Bogus Flags were up all over the place but these bozos were only looking in the mirror. They never saw them. The show's only half over but they shitcanned Chelsea, so I won't be watchin' no more. Chelsea was the only interesting one. Dumb as a lobotomized anvil but at least she had a personality and an identity. It was a bad personality and a dumb identiy but she had all the other beat to shit. Plus she was porno-smokin hot. Maybe Hefner will drag her to safety. She got dumped because she was, I guess, too honest. But enough about her, let's talk about the judges. There;s three of them. Some broad that seems to have SOME awareness of planet earth, and there's Cheryl Teigs who looks like Methusala's great grandmother and is lost in a world of idiots who seem to be too smart for her. And then there some strange man who doesn't seem to be a member of any race, sex, or species. He looks like something George Lucas thought of to put in the backround of a crowd scene on Planet Gork-Gork. He never has an opinion. The smart judge does all the thinking and talking and deciding and interacting. Teigs and Muffin Man do nothing but make faces. They seem to be in a perpetual daze. They have no judgement. At all. About anything. Ask them if ice cream is ever cold and they would get confused and wonder what you meant by that question. Sure: it's an unusual question but it's an easy one, no? The answer is yes; ice cream is sometimes cold; it has been known to be cold; there have been instances of cold ice cream; it is in fact the norm; it's not at all unusual; the answer is yes. All of the preceeding would be a bewildering carousel of confusion and hysteria to Cheryl Teigs and Puffy Man. They would run away screaming at the preceeding ice cream question. And yet they have been made judges in a weekly nationally televised prime time program. A meaningless program, sure, but one millions are watching. Or at least they were until Chelsea got booted. Sure woulda liked to-a seen her pussy.