Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Avengers

   It was basically the Power Rangers with a really big budget. It had, ya know, the usual stuff: a ray that went from the earth to the sky that was a portal for the bad people to enter. In The Matrix it wasnt a ray it was just a hole in the roof, but, still. I think the first movie to use this was - oh, i forget the name. It had a naked woman walking around in it in a trance most of the time. She was from space and came to life in a hospital or a lab and walked around naked. then she would kiss dudes and they would die. This was at least 30 years ago. There has been a ray between earth and sky ever since. Except in Stargate the ray went horizontal and wasnt really a ray. Just a round portal.
   The good guys in the Avengers killed the bad guys by sending a nuke up the ray. Same way they killed the bad guy in Stargate. They shipped a nuke through the transporter into the space ship.
   Someone should list all the movies with the ray that goes from earth to sky that the bad guys come in on.
   For some reason it got astoundingly rave reviews. It must have been for the snarky sarcasm everyone tossed back and forth to everyone.
   The Bad Army was WAY cooler than the heroes and the poor defenseless humans. Naturally they lost. They looked more bitchin' and had bitchiner stuff and machines.
   There were the scenes of negroes and puerto ricans being pulled desperately out of burning busses. I don't know why, two feet over ten thousand other children were dying from exploding debris.
   America is like Japan now after we nuked them: they created Godzilla to destroy Japan to convince themselves monsters, not just other people, nuked the place. Same with America now after 9-11: we are pretending it was spacemen, not goat fucking muslims.
   Anyway the bad guys were cooler than the good guys. And they lose. Which was ridiculous and very sad too: cause they were bitchiner than earthlings. They shoulda won. Then I would see it again.


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