Well, We Need The Police and the Roads

      "Well, we need the police and the roads, but we sure dont need...." and then the Right Winger will tell me the long list of things "we" don't need. It's almost like a post-hypnotic response. It's said almost as if it is not really them saying it. It's the response I get when I suggest that I should be allowed to absent myself from the civic-duty patriotic roll call of citizenryship, for which, in gratitude, I will not have to pay taxes. Not paying taxes is something no "American," right wing or otherwise, can imagine. I personally don't need the police and the roads. I would manage without them both if I didnt' have to pay taxes. Now, having no police would release me from the duty of getting arrested and jailed from time to time. But the people with whom I am talking to always counter with "well what if you do something wrong, you can't just be protected from arrest just because you don't have police protection." Or they say something equally oddly phrased. Because, you see, something is awry inside their heads that absolutely prevents and forbids sense and logic and reason and right and wrong when it comes to discussing roads and cops. Now,  all of these Right Wingers seem to think that roads and cops are the only thing you really need from government. Until you probe a little deeper. Then you learn they also think "we" need the dog pound, the fire department, the ambulance-siren people, the health department, the city planners, the parks department, social security, car registration, taxes and licenses, i mean it goes on and on for fucking ever all the things "we" actually need from the public sector. So, in other words, there is not a right wing conservative - probably on the whole planet - who is not a socialist deep down at the core center seedpod of his innermost soul.
   The response of "well, what about the roads," is so instantaneous and so universal that is is very very difficult for me to shake the Implant Theory, even though I know that there is no such technology available on this earth and that even if it was no government agency could get their personnel up off their asses long enough for any of them to implement it unless those personnel were Marines or Seals, and I doubt if they have the patience or expertise to perform brain surgery since blowing brains into pieces - a practice I personally approve of - seems to be more in line with their sense of fun and purpose than is cranial micro surgery. So I am fairly certain that there are no actual implants in the heads of everyone on earth but me. But I have no explanation other than the Implant Theory for the "well what would you do without the police and the roads?"
   Well, without the police I would never get arrested or go to jail. that is one of the things I would do without the police and the roads. And without the roads I would just travel the roads anyway since no cops would be ordering me off them. So without the roads I would still have the roads.
   But this is not what people who say what about the roads mean. What they actually mean is that without government we would not have roads. Only government can provide roads. This is akin to saying that only Baal can provide an annual corn harvest. Both remarks defy all known science.
   I should really create for myself a category of people called the "what about the roads" people. Which would include everyone on earth except Muslims and other savage tribes living in the dirt who manage to exist without roads since they dont have cars.
   The only reason the government is in the road business is the same reason only the government is in the mail business: because it's against the law for anyone else to be in the road business. Otherwise the police - which we need - will arrest them. Because only the government can be in the road business is the reason 50,000 people die on the roads every year. And the ones who are not dead are in a traffic tie up caused by one of the accidents that killed the 50,000 people. Because the government owns the roads they have assumed that they have jurisdiction over the cars and drivers on the roads, mandating "safety" requirements for the unsafe roads that the car maker - and in General Motors case, the government car maker, that the tax payer has to finance. Getting government out of the road business would save lives and get everyone to work on time. "But then why would we need government at all if they didn't have the roads concession?" Well, I guess we wouldn't need the government. We would just need the best road company. Of which there would likely be many to choose from. All of them determined to make better roads for you the road customer. I guess. But then I dont have the implant. So I have the luxury of conjecturing about the imaginary future without the government roads or the government police. Which we need.