Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Office" Spoiler

There is a lot of advertising on NBC of the "Pam Has Her Baby" hour-long episode of the Office when it begins after the white olympics ends. I know what the episode is going to be so if this is going to spoil it for you don't read any further. What am i saying, nobody has read THIS far. So who cares. So here's what's going to happen. Pam's baby is going to be born dead. Now, I agree, that's funny enough. There's 60 minutes of laughter right there. But it gets funnier. Michael, in his usual passive-aggressive style to make everyone feel better makes everyone feel worse by deciding that he will retrieve the dead baby from the mortuary and he puts it in a large fishtank filled with formaldehyde right in the reception area. So all the people come to work the next morning and how each office worker reacts to the dead baby floating in the fishtank is how the hour plays-out. Dwight of course thinks it's a piece of genius. He wants to kill another baby to put it in there to make things look "more social. No one wants to see one fish in a fishtank. Same with one baby in a fish tank. It's too depressing. Two babies is better. Five is perfect. I've researched this." The Hindu woman with the nigger skin but who isnt actually a you know that these Hindu fuckers are actually, in the anthropology books, are considered Caucasians??? They're WHITE PEOPLE!! That explains their techno-science skills I guess. Where was I. Oh, so the Hindu woman comes in and sees the baby and has no problem with it. in fact she thinks it should be set on fire or thrown into the Ganges. Well the Ganges is 10,000 miles away so the red headed fat woman who talks like a retarded pimp, she suggests throwing it into the East River. "There's damn near as many corpses in the East River as there are in the Ganges, thanks to the Italians." The Hindu thinks this is a good idea. Michael is outraged by this, he thinks it should never leave the reception area, that it is an eternal monument to love. Pam comes in and sees her dead baby in the fish tank and collapses. She remains in a coma for the whole episode. That guy she's married to, he comes in and sees the baby in the fish tank and leaves. He then comes back with a crowbar and hits Michael across the skull with it. Michael also lands in a coma. Michael and Pam are both unconcious in the office and become linked via coma-telepathy and talk to each other in another dimension and fall instantly in love because of this magical link and imagine what it would be like if they both fucked. There is a scene of them actually fucking naked in a forest and we see her tits finally. She becomes Mystically Pregnant and her mystical baby is born in this mystical world immediately. At this instant the baby in the formaldehyde tanks resurrects to life. Everyone is amazed!! Michael and Pam wake up from their comas and the see the baby is alive again and know it is the mystical baby in the dead baby's body. This makes it Michael's baby now, not the other guy's. In a previous episode Michael fucked Pam's mother and Pam almost had a nervous breakdown. Now she sees that her baby now has Michael as the father. Setting up the next episode. The end. Great episode, no? Fukkin' A. Even I might watch this one.


At February 21, 2010 at 9:01 AM , Blogger Ray Hicks said...

Holy Cow...(no religious meaning intended!)...If you were writing for TV, I might watch the fucking thing more.

At February 21, 2010 at 11:11 AM , Blogger jj solari said...

thanks. if i was writing for tv the government would confiscate everyones' set.

At February 21, 2010 at 5:21 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, you should sell the movie rights to this great story!!

At February 22, 2010 at 5:45 AM , Blogger Backwater said...

To me it sounds like a story about niggers or Jr high school students, except people have jobs. I think the kid was aborted.


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