J.J. Explains The Jews To You

As you know, even if you ARE a Jew, the Jews are annoying. And they also won't go away even though everybody hates them. Not only won't they go away they now have their own country that every other country wants to disappear. Except the United States and Britain. We want them there. Why? There is actually no known explanation for this. I guess because the Jews whined so long to us "we want our own country" that we just said yes just to shut them up and to encourage them to move the fuck away. Whining to get their way is how it usually works with the fuckers anyways. Pontious Pilate will vouch for that. What is the DEAL with the Jews??? Here's the deal with the Jews. The Jews are one-twelfth of the ancient nation of Israel. Which their deity, Yahweh, created from the tribe of losers called Hebrews. The Hebrews were a bunch of goat herders who kind of sat around and ate grubs and stunk to high heaven, like all the other sandniggers drifting around at the time. SOME of the sandniggers though had empires made of stacked stones. Unlike the Hebrews who just stacked piles of goatshit. The sandniggers called "Egyptians" and the sandniggers called "Assyrians" and the sandniggers called "Babylonians" and the sandniggers called "Persians" they had empires made of stone cities and big buildings and huge walls and big sculptures and slaves and commerce and big boats and chariots and armies. The Hebrews had goats. The father of the Hebrews was Abraham. He lived in Ur. Ur was a city with a cool name that was owned by one of the aforementioned empires. Which one? I don't know. Maybe the Sumerians. Maybe the Swedes. I dunno. Yahweh - the Jew god - singled out Abraham for who knows what reason and said "I'm gonna create a fantastic civilization from out of your two balls. Your nutsack is gonna be the cause of a LOT of people getting born." Abe said, ok, to that. When Yahweh talks to anyone about them getting the opportunity to get laid, Yahweh always gets total cooperation. So Abe was up for this. Eventually there were thousands of Abe's decendants. They kept daring God to fuck with them because they had this "contract" that Yahweh created. So the Hebrews figured that since they were Yahweh's Special People, they could fuck with Yahweh and Yahweh would have to go along with it because he had committed himself. This is a stupid assumption, thinking you can fuck with the creator of the universe - which Yahweh kept insisting he was. Well, what was now" Israel" kept acting like they could get things their way because otherwise Yahweh would have to break the contract and then Israel would have proven themselves smarter than Yahweh. So Yahweh - who has LOTS of time - kept postponing when Israel would become Number One in the universe and even telling them how long the postponement would be along their tedious, exasperating fucked-up trip along the way before Yahweh would wake up from his nap and set Israel back on the road to victory. A LONG TIME LATER and after tons of instances of Yahweh trying to get these Hebrew pissers to shape up, to fucking relax with the whining, and just listen, Jesus was born. Jesus was gonna be Yahweh's ace in the hole. He would send himself as a human to Israel in order to personally instruct them, one on one, no more Special Envoy People or intermediaries, now it would be God with humans in the flesh. This Jesus fellow, he said to the Jew Bastards that He Was The Guy and that he could get what was now left of Israel - one tribe out of the original twelve, the tribe of Judah - back onto the fast track toward total World Wrestling Entertainment Domination As The People Of God - or as we fondly NOW know them -(because they told Jesus "die, savior, die")..... THE FUCKING JEWS! Some people refer to them as Jew Bastards, but the fucking Jews will be good enough for me. Jesus told the Fucking Jews that the time of their rescue and power that they had been howling for for 2000 years was at hand: Yahweh was right there in the flesh to tell them what to do. He told them to stop being assholes and they would take over the earth and conquer the galaxy. They said "will we defeat these fucking Romans?" Jesus said quit worrying about the fucking Romans. The Jews said "WE OWE THESE FUCKERS SOME WHOOPASS!! YOU HAVE MAGIC POWERS, DESTROY THEM!!!" Jesus at this point now had the same problem that Yahweh had been having for the past 2000 years with these people: they wanted things their way, thinking they had God by the balls. Jesus said no, I ain't raising an army. I'm giving you instead the secret to conquering the earth immediately and without war via the free enterprise system and the abolition of the courts and the law that Yahweh has been having you live under, I'm removing all that because I am Yahweh, pretty good deal, uh? They said "Fuck you, we'll kill you instead. Work your way out of THAT one, Yahweh Yunior." Well, like a zombie, Jesus came back from the dead and unlike a zombie disappeared instead of going around and eating people. When the Jews, or Israel, fucks with Yahweh he disappears. That has been the pattern. So Yahweh took off again leaving the Fucking Jews by themselves and not only not conquering the galaxy but being the shitty dogs of the vile solitary planet earth. Hated and reviled and spit on even by rats.For two thousand years the Jews have been hated and killed. And in all that time they have not quelled for even one second this now-deeply-ingrained innate need to be obnoxious arrogant asshole douchebags. THEY ARE NOT EVEN ARROGANT BULLIES!! THEY ARE ARROGANT DOUCHEBAGS! YOU TELL THEM SHUT THE FUCK UP?....... and they shut the fuck up. BUT JUST FOR A SECOND!! then they are back to being arrogant obnoxious ungrateful, gimmee more gimmee-more assholes. Despite all this... DESPITE ALL THIS...look at them: they now have their own country. NATURALLY They think they have this new country coming. They think they deserve it. Actually it was created FOR them by the British. The didn't even say thanks. It's actually a good country, these Jews have managed to build from scratch! They treat you right when you're there. But they still want all the other "civilized" countries to solve their problems for them. Now, you might be asking, "Why did the British make a country for them?" My friend?....I have no fucking idea. That is something for the Weird Theorists to unravel. So anyway, the Jews are a pain because they are all convinced that God will haul them out of any mess they create for themselves. So they go out of their WAY to be assholes and create messes. And what does it get them? Killed, persecuted, hated, spit on, called names,harassed, I mean it's endless. 4,000 years of this and counting. It's gonna take something really really hairy to get them to see the light. Don't hold your breath. Anyway, they ain't going anywhere, so get used to the fuckers. The whole Persian world wants them eradicated and they're still there. Israel is a country the size of the San Fernando Valley. Surrounded by an entire planet that wants them gone. But no one can make them go. As for me I don't have a dog in this fight, Israel ain't fucking with ME or flying planes into buildings in MY country so I don't care what they do. What am I saying, they won't do anything, they'll wait for someone else to do it for them because They Are Just So Fucking Special. And, yup, they ARE special: they are unique: they are the most annoying race of exasperating pains in the ass in history.