David Letterman's Scary Tongue

The moments that David Letterman's admissions of love become the worst - at least for me - is when he does his "tongueroll" for vaudevillian emphasis after a joke in his monologue. I see that tongue and I remember his On Air Love Confessions, and I suddenly have the two nightmares converged into one big ugly film clip. As everyone has noticed, but which no journalist has ever written about, David Letterman has the vilest, most alien-looking tongue this side of HP Lovecraft's squid people. It looks like a rust-colored cat penis. It appears - during this piece of schtick - on the right side of his monitor lizard face, between his leathery pre-mammalian lips and, jutting out like an x-rated insect feeler it dashes all the way over to the left side of his Employee Attractant and then swoops away, back into its
eerie tunnel, to await in its lair until, larva-like, it makes its next, random, always unnerving, appearance for another dash across his face, like a an errant face-tail. We are then, once again, appalled to realize there are people on his payroll who have french-kissed that stomach-turning mini-spike. I usually pass out at that point.