Al Fucking Franken

Al Franken, the homely person on the right, not the homely person on the left, is the governor now of Minnesota. The Minnesotans, who are barely aware of what planet this is, tried electing a WWE wrestler to tell them what to do and they didn't like him, so now they are going to try using a very bad comedian to give them orders. This SHOULD work because Al Franken is as oblivious to the nature of existence as anyone on earth. Al Franken's idea of comedy was to speak in a nasal tone - like Doodles Weaver, who, like Franken, thought HE was funny - and to be real whiney: like a Jew. Franken is convinced that the government - any government - is the basic building block of the universe, and that if you just "make sensible decisions" and are "in charge of everyone"...people will become happy and successful. He can't even be funny. And his job application says "comic." Therefore Al Franken is what you would call "delusional" on an extremely fundamental level. His first task will most likely be to personally "save the earth." He could not save a garden of spinach if it was in trouble but he is going to save the earth. How? By declaring "solutions." His solutions will be to force people to give him money. The end. Because like all elected officials the earth starts and stops with him personally. So he'll leave office a thousand times richer than when he entered and the earth will have been saved. He could not make a living as a comedian, but thanks to the extortion powers the American Governmental System will grant to him, he will most likely succeed very well as a larcenist.