Anonymous Net Item. Pretty Funny

> >> Subject: A great cruise adventure
> >> Date: Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:01:02 -0700


> >> I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the
Sudan)
> >> and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @ US$800
per
> >> person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found
> >> enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people to bring
their
> >> 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons
you
> >> can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master
> >> gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The
> >> cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per
> >> person double occupancy (4 days).
> >>
> >> All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to
get
> >> hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated
> >> with the package.
> >>
> >> $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)
> >>
> >> M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor
> >> piercing ammo at 15.95
> >>
> >> Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball
ammo
> >> at 14.95
> >>
> >> Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds
50
> >> cal armor piercing at 9.95
> >>
> >> Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope
> >> included).
> >>
> >> They even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads
> >>
> >> "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and
> >> coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."
> >>
> >> Meals are not included but seem reasonable.
> >>
> >> Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs
> >> offer......... get this.....
> >>
> >> "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"
> >>
> >> Sign my ars up!
> >>
> >> They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim
> >> "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"
> >>
> >> They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some
text
> >> from the ad.
> >>
> >> "We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts
by
> >> pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental
> >> charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included).. How can
we
> >> guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within
> >> 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not
> >> occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will
> >> repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire
> >> length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets
are
> >> shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract
> >> attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your
> >> package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the
> >> caliber of your choice."
> >>
> >> As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
> >> testimonials
> >>
> >> "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game
in
> >> Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars,
> >> Hamburg Germany
> >>
> >> "Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates
> >> and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES
> >> 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter
speaks
> >> English"
> >> ----Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA
> >>
> >> "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry
> >> about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship
> >> with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a
drunken
> >> 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam"
> >> ----"chopper' Dan, Toledo USA.
> >>
> >> "Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them
> >> bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate
> >> eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.
> >> ---Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA
>
>