KFC Special Computer-Ad Deal

KFC, a restaurant chain that used to have an actual name, has a special deal, I see, on the "email advertising crap section" of my screen; 14 pieces of chicken "dinner" - get this - DRUMSTICKS AND THIGHS ONLY: for $19.95. Yeah, I would get in line to pay 20 dollars for a no-breasts chicken dinner which would include a dry, powdery "biscuit," that has to be the worst abomination since Satan, and some "gravy" that has all the delicious and savory flavor nuances of thickened corn oil, and "mashed potatoes" that are like eating newly-poured Quik-Set concrete. What a great idea for an alluring bargain! And as long as we're on the subject: of the 11 secret herebs and spices, am I the only one that can only taste salt and MSG? I don't even detect any fucking pepper in there. Wouldn't 11 herbs and spices leave some sort of herbal or spicey taste residue that you could detect?....SOMEWHERE inside your mouth? I mean it ain't as though you have to try and detect them by just staring at them: you get to put the shit INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!! That's a pretty good way to detect things, if you ask me. I mean, puttin' shit inside your mouth - if there's somethin' goin' on with it at all, you'll pick-up on it pretty fuckin' quick, if yer fuckin' eatin' it. And I ain't never detected no "flavors of spices and herbs" in a piece of their scary-breakaway chicken. I mean, I ain't had none o' their shit for 30 years, but do them bones still sort of dissolve under your teeth the way they used to? It's like them chickens never used their own bones to support their own weight. Their bones are like thin glass. HAHAHAHAHAHA. What, are they fucking suspended by their necks their whole lives so their bones never bear any weight? And is there still all that pitch-black stuff buried deep inside their bodies? That stuff that's like thin ebony mud that seems to be everywhere, up and down their leprosy-looking spinal columns, once you eat through the liquid meat? Do the people who work there still look like they came up from under the ground, like zombie carrots? I think KFC was the first chain to hire authenticated reanimated corpses for cooking-and-register duties in fast food restaurants. Now they all do it. The only eleven things that are secret about KFC is the names of the eleven planets they get the help from. Now THAT you can actually detect there: the fact that the employees come from other planets. Them herbs and spices, though, I ain't caught a whiff o' those yet. Maybe only a Geiger counter can detect 'em. Anyone ever try that? Anyone ever actually put a Geiger counter up to one o' them cooked chickens? If you get a reading that could explain the black liquid inside; what's left of their bones turning to Strontium 90.