The Allstate Nigger

Dennis Haysbert, the Allstate nigger, has a new look: he got one o' them scanky, scraggly nigger beards now. He looks like some back-alley fucking crack-addict dope dealer comin' out of the shadows to scare the shit out of you and your wife walkin' by and askin for a match to see if he can smell fear from your pastey white ass and if he does, he pounces. I guess Allstate is convinced that since white people are already so terrified of niggers that they elected one their ruler, that they might as well take full advantage of this terror and have a fucking thug motherfucker tell them to buy Allstate Insurance. Well, Allstate, it's having the opposite effect on me: I wouldn't buy insurance from that dirty, unshaved, scraggly, flea-bit garbage can coon if the Insurance was free and a ten inch dick was thrown in extra. And I could really use that ten inch dick.