Denise Richards On DWTS

This will be a totally gay posting because, well, I'm totally gay. STOP IT, I CAN"T HELP IT!! YOU ARE SO MEAN!!! Denise Richards, on Dancing With The Stars, has been sentenced to having Maksim Chmerkovskiy as a partner. Yes I spelled the fucker's name right. But I am now changing it to Maxine Yuranashole. Because he's clearly the king of the fuckheads. He's got the hottest piece of ass in Hoilywood as a dance partner and he is getting out all his asshole pamphlets from his native pesthole in the Serbian mountains of Ignorania to review them and re-read them, to make sure he's in top form to give her an emotional breakdown as fast as possible. If anyone is in the running to be more certain that he is the center of the universe with President Hussein, this is the guy. He has the face of a Female guard in Treblinka. His eyes look like he only thinks of slaughtering farm animals. When he isn't insulting and demoralizing his own partner, Denise Richards, he is bad mouthing Steve Wozniak who ended up having Yuranashole's wife as a partner and Maxine is all in a panty-tangle because she deserves a better billionaire to dance with since Wozniak has no chance of lastiing out two more shows. AND he has a problem with the Dallas Cheerleader who was a last minute substitute. She has dancing experience. Duh. The show has the word "dancing" in it, you Baltic cow-fucker. His eyes are closer together than Billy the Kid's. If there was a row of head-shot photos of dull-witted mongoloids and you said "Pick the one that was one of the 9-11 terrorists," Maxine's pic would be the first one you would point to. I guess everyone on the show, and probably at ABC, is afraid of him because he looks like a trim version of Paul Bunyun with a history of murder felonies. He looks like the kind of guy who would be the caretaker at "the lake house." You should have seen enough slasher movies by know to know that any place referred to as "the lake house" is not a place you want to spend the night. Because Maxine Yuranashole's the guy "who hangs out there." Maxine Yuranashole hangs out at the lake house. The picture of Denise Richards above was taken at the moment she heard who she was going to be partnered with. She was thinking, "I went from Charlie Sheen to this? Nicole Simpson had better luck." At least Charlie Sheen is funny and just wants to fuck women, not slice their heads off and slather their hair with Sterno, jam them through the neck onto poles, ignite the Sterno and use them as tiki torches with fire coming out of their eyes, ears, and mouths. At least Charlie Sheen just cheats on women, not cuts them into chum and then fills the tub with it and slithers around and through the girl-guts naked while slowly and languidly ingesting the goo through his baleen teeth like a nightmare Slavic eel. At least Charlie Sheen doesn't keep pictures of impaled babies in his wallet for purposes of erotica. You look at Maxine's face as he stands there after each number and listens to the hostess interviwing him and his partner while waiting for the scores and you can see the strain in his whole face wanting to kill. He never has anything to say. He gets asked a question and he just looks around like he needs a fire-axe for some reason. Everyone in the theater ought to be afraid when he's inside the building. You can feel his pent-up hatred. It would take chains, nets, and machinegun fire to bring him down if he ever snapped. Which appears to be an iminent event, judging from the crazed and preoccupied expression on his face and the distant visions of charred and cannibalized bodies in his eyes. Just yell "Vagina!" and that should do it. Anyone else having to dance with Denise Richards, eight hours a day for at least two months, would be dreaming of licking her pussy until she passed out from deydration through loss of twat-fluid and from exhaustion from screamiing in orgasmic fury. Not Maxine. He can't wait to hack her to pieces with a chainsaw. Good job, ABC: ten million dancers in Hollywood and you hook Denise Richards up with the Manson Family spiritual advisor.